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I love this right here watch it!!!!
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10 Excuses White people will get away with that Black people won’t
Now if you watch TV as much as I do you must have seen the cases of Schools being shot up blah blah blah. Now when black people commit a crime its because, them or some one in the family come from Jamaica. However when white kids commit a crime its one of these things.
(10) My parents got a divorce.
(9) My parents were seperated.
(8) My parents always gave me what I wanted instead of paying attention to me
(7) My Mother called me stupid when i was 7 years old.
(6) I was afraid of my father.
(5) I was afraid of my mother.
(4) I was afraid of my step parent.
(3) My father had a mistress and i hated him for it.
(2) My mother got her breast done I was embarrassed.
(1) I’m misunderstood
xoxoxox Lauren Alexander, I am just a messenger people!!
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Eating Out Tonight
1 more point for New Kingston, my friend Rene and I were scouting for places to eat and I suggested the new Restaurant that took the spot where the old Wendys used to be.
On knutsford Boulevard at the very bottom you will find SpringRoll Asian Fusion. The decor is very Manhattan, for those of us who have been there, the way my friend Rene describes it was “New York meets the Great Wall”
The menu’s were nicely done, and the variety was amazing, I dare ask the question “what is Market Place, welcome to New Kingston” the customer service was good, like not Jamaica good, but New York my boss will fire me if I’m rude good.
Half way through our meal the Manager came over asked us how we were enjoying our food and chatted with us a little bit. Gone are the days when management stays behind the staff only doors and stare, the lines and barriers have been removed. The business place is becoming much more sociable, you have to be or you will be eaten alive by the competition.
My friend Rene had the Thai style slice chicken with broad noodles and I had Satay Beef with rice noodle. The servings weren’t huge but they were big you couldn’t be hungry after you were done. Instead of having soda or drinks we decided to go with tea which they sell by the pot for just $300, you can always ask for more hot water. At the end of our meal we received complimentary oranges which were peeled and presented nicely they used the skin as a bowl to serve it, and they peeled off that white part and cut them into squares.
To top off our great experience they gave us a 10% discount. How much would I give this restaurant out of 5? I would definitely give the experience a 5 and the food a 4. Just because my theory is food is always good somewhere else. So check it out.
Xoxox Lauren Alexander, I’m a food commentator too bitches.
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The DNA Men, and there stories…..
Now we’ve heard the stories of the girls who do not know who there baby daddies are but what about the men involved in these scandals, my name is Lauren Alexander and today I’m going to tell the story of T Mcganger an artist getting major airtime on radio and tv, he is said to be the future of Hip Hop, talented and a great role model.
It was the end to a great performance and he spotted her backstage while he was walking off stage, he has seen her before on tv , with other artist in the industry, he’s seen her in sex tapes on his friends phones but who cares.
He went over to the bar backstage and and while he was there he stared at her and she asked him “whats the problem”? T looked at her and asked her if she wanted to come home with him, you know groopies? she went.
T had sex with her and didn’t even think about using a condom, the next day he went home to his legit girlfriend and has sex with her too.
NINE MONTHS LATER………
The groopie got pregnant and T was a suspect, thank God for the society he lived in because even though he was obviously careless, nobody slandered him for being a worthless dog, they slandered the girl for not knowing who the father was. T secretly felt like a fool how could he not use a condom, he knew this girl was sleeping with everybody.
The results came back T was not the father but he was the owner of several sexually transmitted diseases and those were not jackets, his girl friend also caught a few from him.
When dancehall artist sleep around with groopies or women who are clearly going around and they do not use condom, society should take a stand and condemn them for their actions, they are careless and foolish, what does that say about a man who has to ask a woman to do a DNA test? It says nigga you life need to fix up.
xoxoxox Lauren Alexander, if I get Pregnant cookie and I both know who the father is without DNA test.
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What the Hell do you know, tell me
Awww boy, ever since I was a young girl and I started to like boys I was never impressed by the boys in the fast cars, or the boys with the gadgets, or even worst the boys who were always talking about what they have.
But sometimes I feel like society is no different from an airhead groupie, you all buy into the image, the look the and the diam facade. Half the people who you think rich are not rich they’re ok and who you think doing drugs working harder that an old lady who sell in the market. Who you think have old money is drugs money.
Honestly a girl said something to me today and I couldn’t believe what she was saying, so it’s ok for someone who you think is rich to be an asshole and speak bad about other people but how dare someone else do it, if i wasn’t gonna get sued again i’de call names. But as a law student getting served and sued all the time doesn’t look good when it’s my time to take the bar.
I was brought up in a good home, around hard working, BLACK people, we own a couple things because we worked for it, we don’t have old money and we don’t pretend to have it because a few of us could pass for white, Bill gates didnt start out a millionaire, Donald Trump was a struggling business man, and 50cent lived in his grandmothers basement. A lot of you folks are upset because you cant believe that someone else with a little hard work and a plan could achieve what you work so hard to make sure no one else can attain, psssshhh FUCK YOU.
Isn’t it time you wrapped up now and moved on grampa, another Dog is ready to gaurd the yard, you cant see the thieves coming.
xoxoxoxox Lauren Alexander, Im at work!!!!!!
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Dear Reader…………
I Received an email today from one of my male readers. Big Up all the men who read my columns, this is the email…….
Hello, i know you dont have a ph’d in psychology but your a woman and that’s enough.
I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 4 1/2 years now, this april 16 will be 5 years.
Since in first couple of years sex was great but then its like the tap turned off. Whats even worse
she is very unaffectionate now. But always wants to come over. I feel like she is my sister now.
As a male this is VERY VERY frustrating. I havent cheated on her but i am a male, we CANNOT live without sex, and no masturbation isnt the same, not even close.
How can women expect to have a relationship with a man and then trap them by turning it into a sibling affair with no intimacy and no sex. And im not talking about
demanding it 3 times a day, im talking about maybe 2 to 3 times a week or even once a week. I havent had sex with my girlfriend in 8 months and she doesnt even want me to touch her in any suggestive manner it seems.*sigh*
My other male friends complain about this as well. They say they might as well call their girlfriends/wives their sister, cuz really what would be the difference???
I know this isnt one of those Dear Doc articles in the gleaner, but im asking you as a woman, why do women do this.
Because of this, im afraid or certain im never getting married, because it would feel like too much of a trap. im sorry i just love sex too much,
but i want to it be with my woman, im not into cheating around.
BTW my sister,oops i mean my girlfriend just turned 25.
Dear young man,
I’m going to give you my opinion as a woman, I also asked 3 other of my female friends also because I don’t want to be biased. So we all agreed except one, you know what allow me to start from the top.
Maybe she lost a baby for you, and her appetite for sex has died, maybe you had a fling a couple years back, or recently and it has made her unable to have that sexual emotion for you.
OR……. it could be this, she’s been with you for sooo long she’s reached her peek 25, and she probably out grew you, you aren’t what she wants anymore. She still hangs out with you so maybe she hasn’t found somebody that she wants to stay with just yet, but she definitely doesn’t want a relationship with you. She probably looks at you and wonders why she was with you to begin with, do you financially support her maybe that’s whats keeping her at your house.
My advise move on to a next girl someone who can give you what you want sitting down with someone who makes you unhappy isn’t helping any of you, you’d probably be doing her a favor, she clearly wants out, but whatever you’re giving her (which clearly isn’t sex) she wants to hang on to it.
I’m trying to think of something else that could cause this but nah, that’s it she goodly find a next man, i’m wondering how old you are, if you’re way older than her for sure she wants a young penis.
xoxoxoxox Lauren Alexander, Find happiness sweetheart, its out there.
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what your boyfriend might let his friends do…
10 sure signs your Mr Right’s Friends may disrespect you, and the 10 sure signs he won’t do anything about it.
(10) On a car ride if your boyfriends the driver, his friends dnt mind sitting in the front with him. This happens all the time.
(9) If his friends are driving your boyfriend doesn’t sit in the back with you even if there are 4 persons in the car.
(8) His friends always run to his defense when you two have an argument instead of just allowing you to argue.
(7) All his friends have your phone number and they call you from time to time and he doesn’t mind.
(6) When you hang out it always happens to be you, him and his crew.
(5) He always encourages that you be nice to his friends.
(4) When his friends come across as rude to you he encourages you to just ignore it, “they dnt mean anything” he says
(3) He has a lot of friends. Its not just John and Patrick, its a bunch.
(2) His friends are welcomed to all his stuff, his car, his new track shoes, his hat that says, “I’m a baller”
(1) If your boyfriend always takes the tab for everybody, his friends too. Then he will allow his friends to diss you because he already has a certain respect for them.
Well girls those are the signs to look for.
Xoxoxo Lauren Alexander, Myrtles girl.
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My Dog likes flowers
You live and you learn every day I learn something new. I’ve noticed for the past couple of weeks that my puppy likes flowers and nice lawns, whenever I walk him he stops and smells the flowers and tip toes on the lawn. i need to put a video up of him doing it its unusual.
Whats my point? My point is I’m amazed everyday at the things around me and the people in my life, when I think the world hates me, i get a over 200 hundred pings, phone calls, messages and facebook messages telling me, well that I’m not hated. Nothing is promised nothing is guaranteed, whether you win or loose is sometimes based on luck. If this blog sounds off its cuz i’m trying whiskey for the first time.
I wanna take this opportunity to Salute my brother, it took me today to realize what a hell of a man he is. My brother was born to my mother and he never met his father until 2 years ago and when he met him, his father begged him a money! *shaking ma head*. My mother wasn’t the parent who forced you to go to church or nothing she never said to my brother you need to find one girl and settle down and live quiet, those things didnt bother my mom, before i finished high school i had two tattoos and 12 piercings, she never even cared.
My brother grew up, went through his growing pains, never turned to a life of crime, never had a clique of friends leading him to stray. He always went to work, he got married, got involved heavily in the church. My brother was married for 8 years before he had his first child.
Fucking impressive for a black man eh!! He may not have the perfect marriage but let me tell you, its an example others can follow, he’s a mentor and leader. And though i havent spoken to my brother in 3 years, I have to say before I die god forbid of all the guys, you’re my favorite. I’m soo proud of you and I love you to death. Your a shining example and proof that not all black men have to have 10 baby mothers and live a life of crime.
xoxoxoxoxo LAUREN, THE HOTTEST BITCH IN HEELS, #FACT
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Please don’t say anything
On Avril Lavignes first album, she has this song I don’t remember the name of the song but there is a verse in it that says: “I don’t wanna talk about it, I just wanna sit and stare at you”.
Men ever wonder why us women talk to each other for hours about nothing really sensible. Sometimes what we need is someone to listen and say “hush” we don’t need a solution, we’re not trying to solve a math question. The next time a woman speaks to you boys, just listen, especially when she’s having cramps sooo painful she’s seconds away from overdosing.
Sometimes it’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it.
As Women sometimes we talk a lot because we go through a lot of hormonal activity, so as men who have nothing going on in their bodies except an urge to fuck that girl or that girl, or that one, so you can listen to us without hanging up the fucking phone.
xoxoxoxox Lauren Alexander, where is the next one
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bohemea:
Pink is for Girls
love it
